MENNO TRIBUNE: Knack Sot Radio Station to Change Programming!

The Mennonite based Altona Knack Sot station will be changing it’s programming format after 60 long years. For readers who may not know, the main attraction for the Knack Sot radio station has always been it’s lengthy and somber reading of the funeral announcements. The station has also prided itself in offering broadcasting that helps keep listeners in a constant state of melancholy. While many Mennonites didn’t mind going day to day in a state of perpetual gloom, others are welcoming the change.

KS radio A.M. has confirmed the following changes to their programming lineup: The funeral announcements feature will be discontinued and replaced with a new segment called “Sunny Days”. Spokesperson for KS radio Brian Derksen reasons that, “there aint nothin’ better in the world you know, than lying in the sun with your radio”. Derksen also posed these questions; “How many times have you seen someone laying on the beach listening to funeral announcements? How much fun can that really be? We feel it’s time to give our listeners something enjoyable".

Other changes include a revamped music lineup including hits by The Beach Boys, The Beatles, Elvis Presley and other recording artists of what is now deemed “classic haslje leeda”.

The Menno Tribune took to the streets to ask locals about their thoughts on the programming changes at KS radio. A Winkler resident who asked to be identified only as “the Ramel-shu” says, “how am I going to know where to get free faspa if they stop airing the funeral announcements? I always knew well in advance how to plan my faspa and spazea time around funerals. What am I going to do now? If that’s what they want to do, I’m taking my business elsewhere!”

Still others took exception with the new music line up. Mrs John Giesbrecht posed these questions: “What’s gonna happen when our kids start hearing such controversial lyrics like, “I Wanna Hold Your Hand” or “I’m In Loave, I’m All Shook Up”? Those words are affansive! And what happens when our people are listening to the radio and start dancing in the living room! Than wot? Than we’ll all have to start taking dance lessons! You see how things will go?! It’s all down hill from here”.

Many others, however, are welcoming the change at KS radio. “I finally won’t have to hide my 45s and record player in the closet anymore”, says Betty Schellenberg. "And really, even my parents listened to the Saturday night polka party on CFRY and they turned out just fine."

Those who were opposed to the programming changes can take solace that there are other ways to get free faspa by going to weddings and anniversaries.  So It appears that Sunny, Sunny, Sunny Days are ahead for all Mennonite radio listeners!

Dear Helen,

I need some advice. I’m 37, (well, actually 39 and a half) single and still hoping to find the right Menno man to marry but I’m not sure how to go about searching for the "Right Reimer" at this point in my life.

I’m an old fashioned Mennonite girl. The last relationship I had was when I was 32.  I’ve met a few guys but all of them just want to bring me to meet the parents over faspa.  I don't consider that actual dating. I want a little more out of a man. I’m not asking for a lot really. He just has to be willing to get married within a year, have a nice house (about 5000 sq. ft. preferably on a 10 acre landscaped lot in Jant Sied) and a full time job that pays at least $95,000.00 a year (after taxes) and 3 weeks paid holidays each year.  Do you think that’s asking too much at my age?

BTW: All Jant Sied men know how to cook borscht and make wereneki,..right?

Yours truly, still searching for the "Right Reimer"

 

Dear still searching for the Right Reimer

Would you like your man to be feeding you New Bothwell cheese curds in a meadow overlooking Jant Sied as well? Seriously though, wouldn’t every woman want a Reimer in Jant Sied  who has financial security and is willing to make a commitment within a year. Here is some advice: Try to find a man who'll take you out to dinner instead of just having faspa at his folks.  And try not to have your heart set on a Reimer.  There are lots of great Menno men out there!  So don't limit yourself to Jant Sied!

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